Still Sad

I feel so lost and still hurt so bad.  Everyone is getting worried so I am faking like I feel better but I don't.  I keep having these axiety attacks.  I feel like I am being crushed.  I don't know what I am going to do without my best friend. Normally when I would feel like this, I would call her, but I can't now.  She is the only one that totally understood me.  I know that many people accept me for me but she understood me.  I don't have that now and feel so lost.  I have no one to understand me anymore.  I feel terrible in my own skin right now.  I am very, very sad and heartbroken.