Friday, October 8, 2010

Warning: This is a very female posting about female issues, so men, you have been warned!! Read at your own risk!!

I have all sorts of female issues with my downstairs female parts.  I have had cysts, the uterus is tilted really bad and I might have endometrious but they want to do surgery to confirm that diagnosis and I don't see it necessary at  this point in my life to have someone jabbing camera's every where down there just to see what is going on, for now.  So I am one week before I should start my period.  I start putting on a ton of weight this time of the month (which all goes away about 3 days after my period starts).  This weight has been as low as 5 pounds and as high as 15 on really bad month. Oh, and I start craving chocolate usually.  I start getting lots of pain a week before as well.  Today the pains have started.  I just want to curl up in a ball sometimes and cry, but I can't. So I just stayed busy all day, now I feel exhausted!!  I did my 20 minutes on the Gazelle and went 1.27 miles...YAY!!!!  I was so very excited about that.  Cleaned the carpets in the babies room, I cleaned the kitchen, cleaned the living room, played with the kids, cooked breakfast, made lunch, played with the kids some more.  I am just really beat now and it is only 4:00.  I still have to cook dinner, play with the kids, get everyone settled into bed, which is a like a war every night.  Of course I didn't sleep much last night, so that is probably why I am so tired now.  I should sleep really well tonight.

I took my measurements finally.  My hips are the same size as my waist!  How in the hell does that happen?  And the last time I took my measurements, my bust was bigger then everything else (it's been a few years or maybe a decade) and not the case any more.  Not so excited about that to tell you the truth, or the fact that I am almost same around as I am tall, -7 inches.  Yeah, not so cool.  I am a broadzilla!!  I am so glad I am changing that.

I would always talk to my sister and say things like "If I ever lose weight..." or "If I ever fit into a..."  My sister said to me "Why do you always say if you lose weight, how about saying when you lose the weight."  She would always remind that I would talk about "trying" to lose weight and never really do anything about it.  She said "Why keep trying, why don't you just do it?"  I feel good that I am done "trying" and that I am really making an effort at losing weight.  People always say they are trying and end up being just bigger when they are done trying because they are usually trying some fad crash diet.  I have never tried some fad diet.  I have tried diet pills which did not a dang thing.  I have always known what I had to do to lose weight and be healthy.  I have always had all the proper knowledge on nutrition and exercise, just never really applied it all the time.  My biggest problem has always been overeating and being lazy!!  I always try to cook healthier meals, sometimes they aren't, but most of the time they are.  However, it does no good to cook low fat, low calories if you eat enough servings for 3 people.  Half of my problem has been 100% denial!!  Denying how I eat, how active I am, denying the truth to myself.  I am feeling so much better, well expect for those problems I talked about earlier, but hopefully even some of that will be less as I lose more.

Have a good day and sorry for rambling!!

1 comment:

  1. Hey Christina,
    First off ... I've been through a lot of feminine issues myself. Had a hysterectomy 3 years ago (they left my ovaries) but I had polyps and cysts and fibroids and an enlarged uterus. Tried drugs ... tried D&C ... tried naturopathic ... tried supplements ... they all worked ... for a time. I put up with heavy, painful, debilitating periods for years when I didn't have to. It was THE best thing I could have done. Do yourself a favour and at least get it checked out.
    Secondly ... good on ya for staying active. We're not perfect. We're never going to be perfect. Just try to stay as consistent as possible and don't beat yourself up if you have a bad day now and again.
    And yes, self-affirmation goes a LONG way. I used to keep telling myself how fat I was, how out of shape I was. Now I tell myself how well well I'm doing. I've got a long way to meet my goals but at least I'm working on it. I accept myself, love myself and accept the fact that it's not going to happen overnight but as long as I keep going forward, I will get there.
    I'm going to be posting on our relationship with food, either Sunday or Monday; depending on time. I too, used to overeat way too much; even healthy meals, so I understand.
    The important thing, Christina, is to remember that as long as you're heading in the right direction, you'll get to your destination.