Wednesday, September 22, 2010
I watched the season premier of Biggest Loser last night and it made me cry. There was the guy that just fell because his body couldn't move anymore. I started wondering how far away from that am I? And I also wonder why so many people are so big? How come we as a society have allowed this to happen to ourselves? Why did I allow this to happen to myself? Being overweight hasn't been a lifelong struggle for me, just for the past 10 years, so about a 1/3 of my life I have been ballooning. I am currently at 275!! I am the size of 2 people with normal healthy weights. 2 PEOPLE!!!!! And this is rippling through to my children. My 10 year old weighs 130 pounds!! My 9 year old has expressed that he doesn't want to be as big as me and he hardly eats. My 3 year old is fine, for now and so is my baby girl.
My husband weighs as much as I do and he says he doesn't care. He tells me I shouldn't care about my weight either. I am not comfortable being fat. I hurt all the time. I have a hard time playing with the kids. My blood pressure is always high. I look gross!! So, I have all these things going on and my husband doesn't want to support my decision to be healthier.
I am going to go for a walk with the kids when they get home from school today and everyday from here on out. This is my start for now. I am also going to eat less, a lot less and make healthier food choices. My hope is that if I write about my efforts everyday, then it will help keep me motivated or focused. I don't really have a big plan here but to take baby steps everyday. I figure if I go and change everything right away, like I have always done in the past, then I will only revert back to old ways that are no longer working for me.